I'm bored... so let me tell yuo a little story about me going to the grocery store one day.
<random>So... I was walking down to the grocery store to get a can of tuna... since, afterall, fish is filled with a crap load of protien and has very little calories. So I walked down there and was all like, "Hmm... I wonder way I didn't just DRIVE THERE!?!?" Oh well. I suppose I can save on gas money for a more important situation or whatever. So I'm all like... humming the tune of the Rocko's Modern Life theme song when I entered the park... and randomly... this car pulled up next to me.
"Hey kid! I want to make a challenge with you!" cried a man in the driver's seat in the car. He slowly got out and grabbed these rubber sparring knives.
"What!?" I asked him in confusion. I've never met this guy ever in my life. I then grabbed a long stick about 5.6 inches long... and twirled it around for a bit.
"I want to FIGHT! RAWR!"
"Why? You've got rubber knives! First off... you're stupid to even bring that out in public... and you're challenging a kid yuo don't even know!" Stupid people. >_<
So the guy was all mad and junk. I was jsut playing around with the stick, heading towards the grocery store. He then stood in a fighting stance with the rubber kives in both has. He had both his hands out in front of him.
"O-kay... fine." I was then in a leaning stance... with my stick in a gaurd position. He then lunged at me with a double-stab to my chest. I blocked it with the stick and did a counter strike to the back of his right ankle.
"Dude... rubber knives don't do any damage... while this random stick I can can totally bruise you." I told him as he recovers from the effortless blow. He threw away the rubber knives and challenged me to a weaponless combat... thing. I accepted... since I wasn't in a rush to get my tuna any time soon.
I dropped the stick and commenced a cat stance... shifting most of my weight to my back leg. He was in an unbalaced crane stance... since he was wobbling all over the place. I then realized how stupid this was. I was all like, "Dude... this is stupid. You're stupid." and then continued off towards the grocery store... which was just down the hill from the park where I was. He then was being all dishonorable and totally attacked me from the side. I was being thinking aobut how stupid this was... that I didn't catch his presence on time... and totally got thrown the the ground. The wasn't cool.
"Hey! That wasn't fair!" I yelled... getting up from the ground. My shirt was all dirty now. Great. The guy just laughed... and was ready for more. Give me a break!
I got up and was in another cat stance... aiming at the main target. The choice was pretty difficult... because like... he was very tall. I then saw a flaw in his gaurd position: HIS GUT WAS SOOOOO UNGAURDED! Alright... so I was all like... staring into his eyes to avoid him getting the tip that I'm about to throw multiple punches to his gut. I lunged in... and threw a shuto strike to his neck. BLOCKED! YES! I then countered that with 3 consecutive punches to his gut... and that hunched him over. PERFECT!
Now he is in a vulnerable state. I stuck the back of his head downwards... forcing him to hunch over further. I then wrapped my ankle around the front of his neck and forced it about a 45 degree angle outwards tot he left... making him flip over on the ground (not dramatically though... since that's only seen int he movies) and having my legs in a perfect twist stance. I then recoiled my arms and stood directly above him.
This, due to my poor timing, was VERY VERY BAD. He now had perfect access to my legs... and my groin area. He took down my legs... forcing me to fall face first into the dirt. I then swiftly tiwsted to a side (couldn't really think... plus I was randomly bleeding... >_<) but that just pulled him right on top of me! I was all like, CRIKEY! I'm gonna be grappled to death!
He pushed both my shoulders down with both his hands... and then grabbed my neck. I couldn't breathe... and that was freakin' me out. Too my surprise... his arms were left open... and my hands were left free. Instead of trying to loosen his grip on my neck (which people would automatically do... since it's human nature...) I shuto-ed both his arms in the bending spot (word escapes me... -_-) and his arms dropped for a moment. I then flipped over and somersaulted out of the grapple position.
I quickly arose fromt he ground and was in a gaurd position. He got up and was really angry at me. I was getting pretty tired and junk. He lunged at me... and I steped to the side. (TIP: Blocking hurts... it's better if you just move out of the way and counter it) He recovered and threw a roundhouse kick to my side. Missed... but he came around and kicked me the with other leg. That hurt!
My poor judgement was weakening me... and nothing really happened. Heh. So I then started breathing... and commenced a balanced crane position. He threw a punch to me face, blocked. He countered with another punch... blocked. Both my hands were busy blocking... it left my gut wide open. I then quickly threw a side kick to his left leg... which bidded me about a half a second of time. I then did a hook punch... and he fell to the ground.
As for me... I was exhuasted. I was hungry for my tuna... and I was jsut in a random battle with some stranger I didn't even know. He was probably gonna rob me or something. >_<. He wouldn't give up though. He started cussing at me more and I tried my best to not lose all ym strength. Blocked, countered, blocked, countered. The pattern was somewhat obvious. I did wish I had more fun with him by whacking him multiple times with the stick I found. My lip was starting to bleed more.
It was strange how there was no one at the park that day. It was probably due to the intense heat here in Southern California. Who knows? Well... luckily I had some martial arts experience to protect myself from idiots like these. The guy wouldn't give up. He grabbed a stick and started swinging it like a baseball bat! WHAT IN THE BLAZES!? THIS ISN'T FAIR! I grabbed the stick I had before and started swinging it around.
I did the figure-8 on it to drive him back against the wall. He had no experience with staffs, spears, or sticks at all. My advantage. So I told him to leave me alone and let me go. He then attempted to poke my face with the sharp end of the stick he had. I almost missed it. I then threw the stick to the side... he attacked me, and I managed to take the stick outta his hand...and place it about an inch or two in the dangerous spot of his neck.
"Leave me alone. I'm freakin' hungry... and I'm tired." I said... slowly sticking the stick a bit closer to his flesh. He complied... and I was free to go. Heh. I then threw the stick away... and headed towards the grocery store.
So... what a wonderful trip this was. On my way there... the man started throwing rocks at me. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS GUY!? I ran back... and totally went all out with my fighting. I hocked him tot he ground... and jumped on his stomach a few times... and then left. I then ran towards the trail heading towards the grocery store. Since the trail wasn't passible by cars... he wouldn't be chasing after me unless he ran... but he was obviously tooooo tired for that. I wiped the blood from my mouth...a nd ignored the pain (because if yuo keep thinking aobut the pain... it'll bother yuo) as I entered the air conditioned store... humming my theme song. I bought my tuna... and completed my quest. Yay me!</random>
THE END